Apr 26, 2007

Wednesdays & 15 year old Hell, or What I like to call "Fail Safe Birth Control"

Me- "Boo,Before you start mouthing me, you need to throw you coke cans away because you know you aren't responsible enough to have them in here"

Boo- "I brought them in here when I was sick"!

Me- I realize that, but they need to be in the trash. You know why we have the rule. Mice are attracted to this God forsaken Dumpland you call "your room".

Boo- "God, I love coming home to you bitching at me for this stupid shit" (Still mouthing as I begin to turn a weird shade of chartreuse)

Me- "Hey missy, you better shut that big hole in your face before you really get in trouble"!!!

Boo morphed into This- "I am just trying to tell you..."!! (At this point I see her mouth moving in that odd square shaped movement that she gets when she is screaming at 400 dec. but I don't remember what was coming out)

Me feeling that vein burst in my forehead- "Shut up for God's sakes, for ONE second and listen to me"!

Satan possessed Boo- " I am fucking listening to you"!

Me- "Ok that's it" And I grab her ~Ring To Rule Them All~ err.. I mean cell phone

Pleading Boo- "No mom"!! "That's not fair"

Me - "When you can shut the hell up and listen to me for ONE second, you can have it back" (ummm.. yeah)

Psycho Boo yelling obscenities and throwing shoes at innocent walls - " I hate this house, I wanna fucking die, I hate my life, Your so mean" yada, yada......

And how was your night folks?

17 comments:

Mob said...

Maybe you can sell her phone on eBay since she's probably never getting it back.

The beatings should continue until morale improves...

I'm off to Google vasectomy prices.

captain corky said...

After reading this post I just remembered what a bastard I was when I was a teenager. The good news is that it only took me about 15 years to get it together. Sort of.

Big Pissy said...

Holy shit!

She's 15 and saying "fuck" to you?!?!?

Bless your heart....

when my youngest daughter was 13-14 I would have happily killed her...she was a miserable little bitch and shear hell to live with.

Luckily she outgrew it and we both survived it.

Hope y'all do too! ;-)

Jay said...

Things are nowhere near as exciting around here. And, I'm pretty happy about that. ;-)

Knitty Yas said...

haha thats brings back some crazy memories with my mom. ;p i'm surprised she didnt snap and kill me one day. ;p

oh... and my night was .. meh. ;p

MacGuffin said...

Sorry honey. :(

Blancodeviosa said...

mob- do that..hurry

corky- paybacks are hell

pissy- i am sure it smooth out when she gets older.i hope

jay-count your blessings

yas- oh i am sure i am getting as good as i gave

macguffin- i don't know how u stand 2 crazy bitches!

Anonymous said...

OUCH!
We've all hated our parents at one time for one reason or another and been hated by our children for disciplining them.
She needs a Cat! I'm available for weeknights and at fairly reasonable rates.

Pookie said...

Now I remember why Bucky and I don't have children.

I was just talking to Bucky the other day about possibly having a little girl around the house. Thanks for the reality check.

Sorry for the teen years you are going through, are boys any better? :}

Blancodeviosa said...

top cat- hehe, maybe
pookie- for all the crap i still wouldn't change it for a thing in the world. and no boys aren't better

Nikki Neurotic said...

Sounds like a fight between my dad and sister, minus the obscenities.

Blancodeviosa said...

silver- aren't obscenities great?

Corinthian said...

She's lucky. My mom would have left me my phone, but she would've torn my ears off.

You should do something really fucked up with it, like serve her "cell phone stew" for dinner and wait until she's halfway through it before you tell her what she's eating.

Knitty Yas said...

lmao! @ corinthian! lol

Blancodeviosa said...

corinthian- omg, tooo funny!

yas- indeed :)

MacGuffin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
In Ink said...

Quality parenting.

Makes me wish I had three or four of my own ;-)