Aug 10, 2007

Evening Redemption




she wasn't taking it
anymore
hopping into his beloved auto

her mess of insignificant
being
the valium on the headboard

the winding roads and
twisted threads
of a wasted life

it was evening redemption
for her cause

last nights bottle
rolling under her feet
stifled by
her almost life

blazing down the lonely road
lost in her own place
her world of want
never getting her need

eyes ablaze as the bridge
comes into sight

twisted metal
chard's of cement floating by
the water draws closer
like blue and green
heaven

the bastard
poor abusive bastard
meaningless waste of flesh
sleeping in his beloved
chair.


asphyxiating on this mornings
cocktail
and the gas streaming
out of the oven

23 comments:

In Ink said...

Absofreakinglutely brilliant.

Blancodeviosa said...

thanksafucking bunch!

eric1313 said...

Damn, that does hit hard.

You told a good story here, the verse carrying me blazing down the road with the auto--maybe I'm in the trunk? As it crashes over the edge... everyone over the edge at the same time.

Wow. Chilling is what it is. And it goes to show that the darkness has its own voice and power to enthral, as all trainwrecks do. Inspiration can sometimes be no farther than the horror reported on the nightly news. Good envisioning, I'd have to say.

Blancodeviosa said...

eric- you always have a way of making it sound better than it really is. thanks!!

captain corky said...

Really awesome, but sad...

Blancodeviosa said...

corky- i can only right sad for reason. not because i am sad, but i just find darker topics more interesting. inspirational poems make me gag

Paul Champagne said...

remind me never to piss you off.

Blancodeviosa said...

paul- ahahaha... yeah i am mean.
ask macguffin

eric1313 said...

Well, edit it to get this poem that good, if it's not already.

I just did it agian, too. One in a row--today, anyway! Just something from the past, you kow, like last month or something.

This is good and I'd like to see you explore that darkness more and drag more chilling tails like murder suicides and the like up to the uncomfortable light. You can't know everything that is waiting to get wrote, only through getting each piece out of your way, one poem at a time. You have stories--you should tell them. Nobody will hold art against you. I promise.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic poem and not just a little bit frightening. Remind me to stay away from cocktails and my favorite reading chair. Ok, I don't have one but still...

Al said...

Warm Leatherette by The Normal.

Blancodeviosa said...

eric- sometimes fear keeps me from writing about such topics. people don't tend to like the depressing aspect of it all. that and i feel stiffled by the mind numbing drugs my doctor's feel i must take. i will break through it all!

macguffin- thank you hon! don't worry, you know i just write out of that little place in my brain that comes up with random weirdness. never really based in reality where i live most of the time. i can tell the difference though..

al- hmm? never heard of it. elaborate?

In Ink said...

See the breaking glass
In the underpass
See the breaking glass
In the underpass
Warm leatherette

Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel
Hear the crushing steel
Feel the steering wheel

Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette
Melts on your burning flesh
You can see your reflection
In the luminescent dash

Warm leatherette

A tear of petrol
Is in your eye
The hand brake
Penetrates your thigh
Quick - Let's make love
Before you die

On warm leatherette
Warm leatherette

Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette
Warm leatherette

Join the car crash set

In Ink said...

Great song btw.

Harmony said...

hi honey,
huh thats an Awesome poem..wter..this really make me away from the Morning Drinks atleast(well i take Cocktails at night..so wts ur advice honey??)..ha ha..

the bastard
poor abusive bastard
meaningless waste of flesh
sleeping in his beloved
chair.


asphyxiating on this mornings
cocktail
and the gas streaming
out of the oven..

ha ha..u have got great I.Q. sexy!!take care!!

robkroese said...

I'm a philistine.

Blancodeviosa said...

michael- aaah ok, i see. i will have to check it out.

pankaj- well i do score an 85 on the test...
thanks!

diesel- join the club :)

Big Pissy said...

I normally don't like poetry.

But I liked that.

Thanks!

Unknown said...

Welcome to the dark side,I love this it's brilliant! I'm with you on inspirational stuff it has the same effect on me, does that surprise you (haha) in fact I tried to think of a 'happy' topic for a 55 last week and just hit a great big blank wall.

Blancodeviosa said...

pissy- awe well thank you for liking mine ;)

pauline- yeah, it just seems to come off cheezy huh?

Mona said...

dark side indeed.. the poet in us seem to suffer from some... maybe not liked by many but enough to make them feel shaken...

That poem does create a ripple..

Angry Empanada said...

sistah...

how many times did i want to stick his head in the oven instead of mine? ask me that one day. thank god i'm not psychotic enough to do it either.

Blancodeviosa said...

mona- shaken i well may be

crock- yes, please don't bake your head :(