Aug 27, 2007

Rants of Late

I have lost all respect I might have had for Allure Magazine when I received Sept. issue. To my dismay, they have chosen to feature the dingy Poptart herself, Ms. Britney Spears. On the cover no less…

Why does this bother me you ask? If you don’t care, too bad I will tell you anyways. Allure is like my Holy Grail for all things beautiful. Everything I have learned in life, I learned from this magazine. How to apply eyeliner to my eyebrows, when to wax my pootie poo lip and how to lose 25 lbs. by standing on your head. Ok, I made the last one up, but you know what I mean. Then bam, out of nowhere I have to look at the teen pop princess turned twat exposer in my bible of perfume samples. This will not go unnoticed Allure Magazine. Just please don’t cancel my subscription. I am dying to find out if the
fatties have lost more weight..

I was sickened to read the photographers ass kissing praises of this one.
“In many photographs you see of her she seems to be an unwilling participant.” But she voluntarily posed for Allures September cover, shot by Michael Thompson in Santa Monica on April the 25th.
Give me a break! I have seen the girl’s twat more times than I care to admit. She seems very unwilling to wear panties is the real problem. The poor thing doesn’t get enough attention, so then she subjects us the vagina that the ate the Titanic. Come on Britney, have some self respect. At least get
Larry Flynt to pay you to show off your shit.

In this p
hoto- “I wanted to capture the free spirit Britney so I photographed her on the floor and let her do what she wanted”.
He is brave man, because she could have broke out the 12 incher and went to town and I am not talking about her handbag. “The singer chose to pose topless”, he also added.
He almost sounded surprised…

Britney of course had to add her two cents. “Everyone thinks of you as not human when you are 18 years old”. Well duh, join the rest of society. She went on, and this was the clencher-“I just want to be a normal girl” (what like Springer material, because your doing a bang up job) “I don’t want to be a role model, except maybe to my little sister”. Ok look you stupid cunt, you ARE a role model because you are famous for singing really bad songs that appeal to 12 year olds. And you ARE a role model because you choose to do outrageous acts of sheer idiocracy in public with your other slutty friends. And for Bejebuses sake, you ARE a role for your children. Won’t they get a pleasant surprise when they get old enough to archive their mother’s photos and get more than they bargained for. Grow the fuck up you stupid, stupid redneck trash. And that’s all I have to say about that. I have to work now. I have a real job!

22 comments:

captain corky said...

I think you need to smack her around a bit (That would be really hot). The bitch clearly needs a beating, and you're just the woman to do it Blancodeviosa. ;)

Blancodeviosa said...

corky- well you know how it is. i don't want to beat her, i just want her to go away

queen- she can have her own channel as long as she disappears from mine

Anonymous said...

*runs out to Walgreens to buy the latest Allure magazine"
BE RIGHT BACK!:)
tc

Jay said...

Somebody working for Allure Magazine has mad photoshop skillz. Making Britney looking that good takes a tremendous amount of patience and talent.

Pookie said...

She is such TPT (trailer park trash) and I know trash...I used to live in a trailer park way back when)

I have refused to buy covers that have any of the dumb girls on 'em(Britney, Paris, Nicole, Jessica, to name the very few). I'll just have to wait for the next month's mag to come out. :(

damn those editors for putting such people on their mag's covers

Drizel said...

you feel really strong about this blan...am I right....hihihihih...
enjoy the week:)

Nikki Neurotic said...

Every year I think that this will be the year we forget that Britney Spears exists...and every year I'm wrong.

Unknown said...

I'm guessing you don't like this Britney person whoever she is. The media certainly seem to glorify some of the least worthy specimens, it's all madness!

robkroese said...

It smells like asscrack in here.

Michael said...

Blancy, I'd just like to congratulate you on being as restrained and sympathetic as anyone could possibly be when discussing this particular topic.

I am in awe of your self-control.

/I love Britney

//NOT

MacGuffin said...

I'd have to agree with Jay, the pic hardly looks a thing like her. She's very average to begin with, always has been.

Big Pissy said...

Britney gives skanks a bad name.

Blancodeviosa said...

cat- so whatcha think?

jay- yep. if i can make myself look half ass decent i am sure they can make a crack whore look like a debutante..

pook- you were never trailer trash, just as i wasn't.

etain- i guess i am just tired of looking at these useless bags of flesh. is that bitter??

silver- yep, me too.. :(

pauline- indeed. it's a shame. i suppose i was just born at the wrong time.

diesel- thank you, it's my new cologne. eau de porqueria

michael- you noticed huh? amazing restraint i have with my typing fingers. don't worry i have the same restraint with my mouth too.

macguffin- she is indeed. just got lucky is all it is.

pissy- tha's what i thought! us skanks must band together to rid ourselves of this atrocity!

4 Non Blogs said...

They only thing wrong with this picture is she's wearing pants.
Bring on the sluts, I say.

Blancodeviosa said...

skin- Eh... Bite it Buttmunch

4 Non Blogs said...

I have an old video somewhere...might be time for some youtube.
heavy on the 'you'.
heh.

Blancodeviosa said...

oh you ass... were not going there! i am reformed!!

do you except visa or mastercard?

Anonymous said...

They were out so I got a Catboy magazine instead.:)
tc

Dan said...

I'm not a fan of Britney's but I don't think I've ever seen her look better than in this photo.

Maybe I just need another cup of coffee? Nah ... she's beautiful in this photo.

Blancodeviosa said...

cat- that works too :)

dan- eh... men

eric1313 said...

Wow. Nice coinslot!

Blancodeviosa said...

yes behold the slot of the mega hose beast.

whee..